Do This While High: Find Your Spirit Animal

by:   |   Nov 7 2013

rsz_alabaster

If you’ve always wanted to find your spirit animal, but maybe don’t have $600 to spend on meditation lessons with a David Lynch-approved Transcendental Meditation® Instructor, or are just overwhelmed by the “shamanism” Wikipedia page, then you’ve come to the right place. All that spiritual junk can be intimidating, but there’s another way to reach the higher state of consciousness required to meet your spirit animal. Getting high!

 

horse pipe

I first found my spirit animal when a friend of mine, who is properly into that stuff, offered to give me a meditation lesson. It took about fifteen minutes and I actually did succeed in meeting my spirit animal (she’s a parrot!), even while I was sober. But a few weeks later, a few of my friends and I went camping, and after we smoked an absurd amount of weed, I ended up guiding them to each of their spirit animals. Instead of shutting up and letting them meditate in silence, I talked them through it, ultimately orchestrating insane experiences with their own spirit animals like some kind of super scummy god. Afterwards, we were under one of those high spells: compulsively Googling meanings, interpreting the visions, and sharing insights for hours.

Finding your spirit animal isn’t just about getting in touch with nature and the supernatural–it’s about gleaning wisdom about yourself and your life. The unexamined life is not worth living, etc. etc., and if you meditate high, there’s more bizarre shit to analyze. It’s fun to take things seriously while also not taking them seriously at all. And the best part is that after you’ve met your spirit animal, you can always high-meditate and meet them in your brain if your buds are being flaky on a Saturday night. You know, like a cool person.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to helping your friends find their spirit animals after you’ve each smoked a blunt to the face.

1. Turn off the lights and have everyone lay down. Play this video of meditation drums on YouTube.

2. Tell everyone to slowly close their eyes and try to really feel the weight of their bodies: focus on different limbs: relax each limb completely.

3. Now, they are going to slowly sink into the mattress. The mattress gives way, gently, and they fall through the floor and the ground and down through the earth. Describe their journey under the earth, falling like Alice when she falls down the rabbit hole.

4. After a while, a lush, bouncy patch of wild grass breaks their fall. They look up, and find themselves in a forest. They will meet an animal–it will not be their spirit animal, but rather a guide to their spirit animal.

5. Describe the forest. It’s meant to be a place where they can get in touch with their psyche, so it shouldn’t feel sinister or overwhelming. Try to illustrate it as tranquil–magical almost–while also asking them a lot of questions about it (for them to think about for themselves).

mushroom gif

6. You will have them walk down a path, following the first animal. Ask them what stuff is around them. Ask them about the animal’s behavior.

7. Choose a spot in the forest for everyone to stop and describe it. Tell them to turn around and look at something (e.g., a large tree)–then tell them their spirit animal is behind it. Have them walk over. The spirit animal should reveal itself to them now.

8. Their spirit animal will lead them somewhere. Tell them to pay attention to how their spirit animal is communicating with them, or otherwise behaving. Have them imagine where it is their spirit animal is taking them, and who/what they see on the way.

9. Ask them more shit about the forest: are they headed into the dark or the light? What kind of flora is around? What’s hiding inside that log, or coming out of that bush, or up in the sky? Who is that climbing that tree? What’s in that little house over there?

10. Eventually, after AT LEAST 20 minutes, have the animal who took them to their spirit animal return to guide them back up to real life. They will feel themselves begin to float and then get sucked up into the sky like a vacuum and back up into the earth, grabbing at vines and weeds to pull them up until they’re back on the couch/bed/chair in the dark. Slowly lead them out of the meditation and turn off the drums video.

girl parrot

Done and DONE.

Top illustration by Alabaster

 

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Maura

Maura

Maura is a Jersey girl who likes schmaltzy '80s movies and wears a onesie as often as possible. She's also pretty good at diagnosing people with weird conditions.
Maura

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  • JulaiOhMy

    I’m not sure I’m ready to meet my spirit animal, but I do know that my patronus is a bottle of Patron. And it’s Reposado, too… I was expecting Silver.