Join a Cult: Breatharianism

by:   |   Dec 1 2013

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Of all the wackadoo diets/spirituality cults that’ve gained popularity in the U.S., one of the most fascinating (full-blown crazy) is breatharianism. You think you’re pushing the envelope with your gluten-free pizza? Well, as a practicing breatharian, you don’t eat gluten, carbs, juices, or starches. In fact, you don’t eat anything. According to this sect (of which Michelle Pfeiffer [!] was briefly a part), food is an addictive substance, and most of the world’s citizens are brain-dead junkies desperate for those sweet, sweet calories. Instead of consuming food, breatharians believe that you can get all the nourishment you need from “sungazing,” aka staring directly into the sun.

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Of course, a person can’t actually live on sun alone, so breatharianism’s head honcho, Wiley Brooks, has advised his followers to periodically break their fasts with one very specific meal: Diet Coke and a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. According to Brooks:

“You may drink as much as you desire of diet coke in the 20 oz and 1 liter sizes and at McDonald’s (with caffeine) in the plastic bottles only.  The double-quarter-pounder/with cheese meal at McDonald’s is the other part of this diet.  Try to eat at least one meal a day for at least for 1 month (30 days) to get started.  Go back to my web site periodically to see if you can start to feel the magic/love (The love energy from my writings) after reading a few paragraphs. It is OK to drink from the cups when eating at McDonald.  I highly recommend that you eat at McDonalds when ever possible.  All McDonalds are constructed on properties that are protected by 5th Dimenstional [sic] high energy/spiritual portals.  As you continue to use this meditation/diet program you will start to feel the difference in the atmosphere when eating inside of a McDonalds and outside.  It is also acceptable to combine 2 quarter-pounders with cheese burgers to make one double-quarter pounder; if you can’t get the double-quarter-pounder with cheese where you live.” You guys, it just makes horse sense. Do not question this.

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This is where I put the McDonald’s

Of course, long-term fasting isn’t some newfangled concept—yogis and spiritual gurus on a quest for enlightenment have been doing it for thousands of years; the blanket term for the practice is “inedia“. (However, they probably didn’t follow up their fasting with a hardcore Mickey D’s feast.) Unfortunately, many of Wiley Brooks’ disciples abandoned him in 1983, when he was caught eating a chicken pot pie and biscuits in a hotel room. But there are still plenty of breatharians practicing all over the world, including Ellen Greve, who goes by the name Jasmuheen. In 1998, she was challenged by an Australian TV show to live in a hotel and not consume any food or water for seven days; a doctor stopped the experiment after four days, since Greve’s body was beginning to shut down. (Whoops.) Greve blamed the failure on the low-quality air circulating outside the hotel.

Though it seems charmingly retro, breatharianism isn’t extinct (unlike the four people who’ve passed away while practicing it)—YouTube is packed with videos made by current breatharians, who explain their reasoning and their love of consuming hearty amounts of air/sunlight. And Brooks is still up to his tricks—check out this video, in which he repeats the same five “magic” words over and over again for 10 straight minutes. Bonus points if you can make it past 45 seconds!

If you need further proof that Brooks’ disciples are sane, rational human beings, check out one very normal YouTube comment on that video:

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Is breatharianism right for you? Only your doctor (or psychiatrist) knows for sure.

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The Co-Founder and Ed-in-Chief of G.A.L.
  • DarkD

    This man pedals some of the craziest bullshit I’ve ever read and I’ve been looking up crazy bullshit for a month now. This is impressive… This guy sounds worse than tv frauds, and they try and sound crazy. These people are caught faking regularly, and they still have people following them, swallowing whatever tripe they’re fed.