Cocaine Accessories, For the Lunatic In You

by:   |   Apr 11 2014

Airbrushed Tees

This “Wish You Were Here” is a very special Sexy Cocaine Edition. I’ll be real, I don’t indulge in this pastime anymore, but there MAY have been a time in my life where that wasn’t the case. No judgments! (I was young and in denial about my tendency toward sinus infections.) That being said, back when I first moved to NYC, these two impeccable T-shirts would’ve really upped my party game. That airbrushed cocaine shirt with the elephant makes me laugh so hard. Do I want to wear a crazed elephant lunatic snorting garden-hose-sized rails on my chest? In the words of that elephant, “Fuck YAUUH!” Dumbo is WAY funnier after he’s done a few lines anyway. And the model’s face just brings it all home. It’s an expression that says, “I love blow, and I don’t care who knows it.” Own your vice, lady, and never take that shirt off! (Unless you’re attending a funeral or child’s birthday party, in which case, just think on it for a bit before you make your decision.)

High Times Jun 77- ad drugs-4

Now, this Super Straw necklace is just straight CLASS.  It’s like the badass version of Joan’s secretary pencil necklace. I love some functional jewelry, and nothing quite says “I’m a party professional” like wearing an 18k gold coke straw/spoon/crusher combo around your neck. “Step aside bitches, let me crush your drugs with my gold,” you’ll be saying, as you stride into the bathroom of the club with everyone staring at you in admiration. I feel downright offended that I never got to wear the Amped Up Dumbo shirt while a gold Super Straw dangled from my neck. Think of the bathroom selfies I could have captured! [Cries one single tear]

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Creative Director of G.A.L.

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  • JulaiOhMy

    I was in Amsterdam in 1998. In the window of a shop, I saw a coke straw shaped like a vacuum cleaner. At this point I had never done cocaine, never thought of doing cocaine, but I spent a good amount of time trying to convince my chaperone that the only souvenir I needed from this trip was a silver-plated vacuum-shaped coke straw. 16 years later and I still wish I had that glorious fucker.