I Didn’t Buy It: See-Thru Plastic Skirt

by:   |   Jul 25 2014

Welcome to “I Didn’t Buy It,” a column based on Julai Whipple‘s self-restraint. Come with her on a journey of non-spending and pure insanity.


didnt buy it cold fusion skirt


You know when you’re just having a really good butthole day? And you think, damn, anus, no pants can contain us! But unfortunately, modern clothing has not yet caught up with our youth culture’s desire to show off the tightest, most flourishing parts of our anatomy. UNTIL NOW.

Obviously some young fashion designer watched the scene in E.T. where the evil medical team wraps Elliott’s house in surgical-grade plastic, and where most of us were thinking, “Get outta there, Elliott, and take that symbiotic space turd with you!” this person was thinking, “If only I could dress like that house. Now that would really be something. That house is so hot, how is it not on fire?”

But showing your squirrel covers through a plastic skirt is not enough. I want a window implanted in my side. I have a really fucking tight-looking appendix. Looking at my Fallopian tubes, you’d never be able to tell I’ve had, like, 264 periods.

I totally would’ve worn this in junior high, and my mom would’ve made me wear a too-long church slip underneath.

Cold Fusion Frosted Skirt, $45.50 (down from $65!)


Reprinted with permission from IDidntBuyIt.tumblr.com

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Julai Whipple
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