Welcome to “I Didn’t Buy It,” a column based on Julai Whipple‘s self-restraint. Come with her on a journey of non-spending and pure insanity.
Goddddd, I wish I could find an outfit that would make me look like Alvin and the Chipmunks’ slightly retarded French mime cousin. Oh, we’ll call him …. TOMP.
OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS, and there it is! I hope there’s room in the band for another member, Dave. Don’t worry, Tomp doesn’t sing. He just stands in the background and pretends to be stuck in a glass box. I think it’s just what the act has been missing. Tomp’s gonna help the Chipmunks stay relevant. Tomp’s gonna make it allllll better.
(Holy fuck, I’m gonna need an advance on that sweet Christmas Album money.)
Reprinted with permission from IDidntBuyIt.tumblr.com
Latest posts by Julai Whipple (see all)
- Where Panties and the Paranomal Meet: The Story of the Haunted Lingerie Store - October 30, 2015
- 50 Shades of Grey Gardens - October 1, 2015
- Which Prince Side Project Are You? - February 24, 2015