Ask a Weed Dealer #2!

by:   |   Aug 18 2014

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You bring them into your house, you hand over your hard-earned cash to them, and you get high with them. But how well do you really know your weed guy? It’s time for the second installment of “Ask a Weed Dealer,” where we ask our friendly neighborhood marijuana peddler all the hot quezztions, and get some real-talk answers. Got some nosy-ass questions of your own? Send them to emailgrownasslady@gmail.com! Last week, our weed guy told us about how he got his start in the business, and this week, we’re getting into everybody’s fave topics: weird customers and sex on the job. Let’s do this!

What’s the weirdest customer experience you’ve had?

I had this one customer who answered the door in a towel. And I thought, “Well, okay, he was in the shower.” I didn’t think too much about it. So we go into his living room and I put out all my stuff on the table, and we’re standing there. I’m trying to keep an eye on my stuff, because the big fear is that someone’s going to steal. But on the other hand, I didn’t really want to look at him, because he’s in a towel. I’m trying to be looking without looking, you know?

So we take care of biz and I go away being like, “Wow, that was so awkward.” And then a few weeks later, I deliver to him again, and the exact same thing happens! And I was like, “Alllllright.” Then a few weeks later, I’m bullshitting with my coworkers, saying like, “There’s this guy who answers the door in the towel. What the fuck?” and two of my other coworkers are like, “Yeah, we got that guy too. He always does that.” What?! It’s like, “Did you think this was gonna be like a weed deal with benefits?’ But I’m not gonna lieI always wished that I could deliver to a woman and she’d be like, “Do you wanna come innnn?” But it never happened. We do have women customers, but honestly, 98 percent of our customers are dudes. So I’m not going to have the chance to be like “Dear Penthouse, one day when I was working…” Nope.

Noone’s trading you sexual favors for it.

Actually, it’s funny, because when I first started, we used to have meetings all the time. And my boss was like, “Don’t do that. Do NOT do that. Because then women are gonna assume afterwards like, “Every time I call, I’m gonna get free dope, because I fucked this guy.” But I never had the luxury of having the option.

 

Next time, our weed dealer tells all about his personal smoking habits, and the inside dirt on what you’re actually paying for when you buy a bag. Stay tuned!

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